The Things I Carry

The Things I Carry are more than one can guess by just looking at me. I carry more than just my school supplies when I walk into the school every morning. I carry a lot more on my shoulders than just a book bag filled with things I bought from OfficeMax. I carry many thoughts about my past, present, and my future. I carry my conscience every minute of the day which helps, and prevents me from going where I want to go. I carry my conscience through home life and social life. I carry guilt, shame, joy, drive, and determination.I carry everything that goes on in my life, wherever I go. I also carry more than just the ambition to do well in school. I carry my backpack into school every morning. I carry 19 mechanical pencils, 20 ballpoint pens, two pocket folders, one five-subject notebook and one assignment notebook. I carry a textbook for every class except English, my cell phone, my packed lunchbox, and of course a water bottle or two to stay hydrated throughout the day. I carry more than just my supplies when I walk into school. I carry all my drive to do well in school.I carry the dream of going off to college, and being successful in whatever I choose to do. I carry the determination to get good grades because I know I have it in me. I also carry the laziness to ignore my schoolwork. I carry a mindset that tells me B’s and C’s are good enough, and that I can just skip a few assignments whenever I feel like it. I carry the thoughts of living a bad life because I chose not to put the effort into high school. I also carry the thoughts of living up to every one of my expectations in life.I carry the motivation to not only succeed my last two years in high school, but make these last two years my best years. I carry the thought that this year of high school is my most important. I carry the stress all of these thoughts put on me. I also carry the strength to overcome certain obstacle like stress. I also carry my past throughout everyday of school. I carry thoughts of my past everyday while I’m in school. I carry the burden of not putting enough effort into school when I was younger. I carry the memory of pushing my friend out of the way of a falling tree.I carry the memory of playing games on my best friend’s tennis court. I carry the memory of going to New Hampshire every summer to my cottage on Lake Winnisquam with all of my family. I carry the memories of my grandmother that lived with me for several years but later passed away. I carry the memory of my uncle who tragically passed away of a brain tumor. I carry the faint memory of my grandfather who I was lucky to have for the first 7 years of my life. I carry all of these memories with me wherever I go. I carry them when I’m at school, work, or even out with my friends.I also carried my conscience through all of these memories. I carry my conscience every minute of the day. I carry my conscience and it makes me think my life over constantly. I carry all these thoughts and insecurities about who I am, what I’m doing with my life, and where I’m going. I carry the constant thought of changing myself just to fit in. I carry these thoughts when I’m at school and sometimes it gets in the way of my work. I carry it when I go out with my friends and sometimes it makes me act differently.I carry it into my home everyday when I come home from school, except it doesn’t affect me. I carry the power to be myself 100 percent of the time while in my own home. I carry the voices of people telling me not to worry about what people think of me. I carry the guilt that I can never accept someone not liking me. I carry the drive to prove anyone wrong of their doubt of me. I also carry the joy that I love who I am. I carry my conscience and I always will. These things I carry shape my life. They guide where I’m going in life and what kind of person I will be along the way.I carry a lot more than even my parents would expect, let alone anyone. The things I carry during school tell my whole life story. They run my life no matter what I’m doing. But with all the guilt I carry, there is a lot more joy in my life to always keep me positive. The things I carry make who I am and give me the power to keep going in life. I will always stay true to the things I carry because they will take me in whatever direction I chose to go in. The things I carry are with me forever, so I might as well just embrace every single one of them.